by Sam H.
On July 15, 2022, the first episode of The Rehearsal, Nathan Fielder's experimental comedic docu-series that showcased simulations of nerve-wracking or life-changing scenarios to perfect reacting to them, aired on HBO. With every new episode of the show, I found myself more deeply considering the implications of reality shows and their existence as a form of media when there seems to be a manipulating middle-man between the audience and the participants guiding a narrative. Though I never watched reality TV shows before watching Fielder’s work, I recently have grown more aware of questioning the intentions of reality TV shows.
Recently, while watching a new Abbott Elementary on ABC at the end of November, about 4 and a half months after The Rehearsal’s premiere, with my friend, I saw an ad for a new ABC reality show titled The Parent Test, which is based on the Australian reality series similarly titled Parental Guidance. While watching the trailer, I couldn’t help but think that the show is an antithesis to The Rehearsal. As a disclaimer, I have not watched The Parent Test and the following piece is more of a criticism of the format of the show rather than the actual content.
The Parent Test markets itself as an intense examination and comparison of twelve families’ parenting styles through intense and difficult trials, such as having parents convince their children to try diving. However, that unaddressed disconnect between the audience and participants looms above the show as it’s clear that the children in the show aren’t really old enough to fully grasp the idea that a large portion of their personal lives will be shared on TV. That’s a question that The Rehearsal explores by spotlighting Remy, who briefly played the role of Adam, Fielder’s simulated child in the show. Remy is young enough that he cannot discern the difference between reality and simulation, similar to how viewers have a difficult time identifying how much of reality TV is real. Even more heartbreaking, viewers witness incredibly personal moments with Remy and his mother as Fielder visits them and attempts to tell the fatherless child who views Fielder as his “pretend daddy” that their father-son relationship is now over.
Presenting others’ personal moments on screen has always been something that’s questionable in terms of filming and sharing with the world, but reality shows often use these moments as a way to draw viewers in and increase feelings of authenticity. However, in the case of The Rehearsal, many audience members can’t help but question whether Fielder was correct for putting a child in such a stressful situation. While Fielder acknowledges his mistakes during his own parental rehearsal and attempts to rectify them in his own strange manner, other reality TV shows such as The Parent Trap seem unaware of the implications of exposing these high-stress situations as they simply use the format of reality TV without deeply considering its implications. Of course, with any reality TV shows, the families most likely signed documents consenting for their child to be put in these situations, but it’s hard to imagine that these children understand that their lives are being filmed for the entertainment of the world and that this footage will be around for a long time. That brings in the question of whether parents truly do know what’s best for the child, a question that Fielder asks Amber, the mother of Remy.
When Fielder asks Amber, “How do you convince yourself [that Remy will be okay]?” Amber simply replies, “I didn’t convince myself. I’m just going to make sure that he’s okay, so he is. And I just know.” Fielder spends the rest of the finale attempting to search for what he believes makes Amber an ideal parent and by the end of the episode, he realizes that being the perfect parent means accepting that situations will be imperfect and that no matter how hard one might try to prepare for something, unexpected mishaps will always happen along the way. I can only hope that The Parent Trap is self-aware enough to similarly recognize that each parenting style is unique and that parents are humans too, and humanity isn’t the same without our imperfections.
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