by Aero S.
The first season of the Netflix sitcom Space Force is, to put it lightly, not very good. However, one of the things that got me through the entire season was Space Force’s social media manager Fuck Tony – played by Ben Schwartz – and his outfits, particularly his ties. Most of them are quirky and loud, and while I know nothing about fashion or the reasoning behind these tie choices, I think that they perfectly encapsulate his brash and obnoxious personality (as if his name hasn’t already accomplished that).
As with any opinion piece, there are a few caveats. Firstly, these are my opinions – it is up to you to agree or not. Secondly, I know nothing about fashion, so take everything I say with a whole bag of salt. And finally, I do not care what your own takes are (unless you agree with me; in that case, do DM me and we can talk more at length about this). With that being said, here is a list of all of Tony’s ties from season one, ranked from absolute worst to best.
11. Episodes 1 and 2
Maybe it’s simply because I got tired of seeing this tie for two episodes in a row, maybe it’s genuinely atrocious. What’s for sure is that I hate it very much; it is a horrendous mix of red and brown and mixes stripes with polka dots like that’s an acceptable thing to do. The suit is a lovely shade of dark brown, and he honestly would have been better off without a tie at all. But I understand the necessity to establish the character’s distinct look right off the bat.
Overall: It is an eyesore and should be burnt on sight.
10. Episode 6
I like this episode as much as the next guy, but this tie honestly provokes anger within me that’s a little hard to describe. The pattern itself isn’t the problem – you’ll be seeing striped ties ranked much higher later on – rather it’s the color combination that’s atrocious. Something about that shade of orange is so terrible to look at, and the damage is severe enough to make me want to rewatch the episode just a little bit less than I would have if Tony had worn a different and better tie.
Overall: The orange to me is what a moving object is to a bull – I want to attack it.
9. Episode 9
This one is a little unfair because we didn’t get a clear shot of the tie this whole episode, but from what I can tell, I would not have liked the tie anyway. The color, unlike the last tie, does not bother me, however the suggestion of what the pattern could look like does. I have a feeling that it somewhat looks like an old carpet or some bad curtains, and while that’s fine on select occasions, this was not one of them.
Overall: Bad old carpet vibes.
8. Episode 10
This is the first tie on this list that does not boil my blood. The stripes are nice, the color palette on it is vibrant, but not hard on the eyes. Despite all that though, I think the outfit as a whole isn’t very good, because the tie is so bright but the suit he’s wearing is so unbearably dull that the two just clash.
Overall: Tony should just wear funkier suits to accommodate this tie.
7. Episode 10 pt. 2
The second tie from episode 10 fits much better with the suit he’s wearing, and it’s so lovely to see. The pattern on the tie is subtle, which is an anomaly among the rest of his ties. And while I do like this tie, it didn’t place higher because it’s relatively bland and boring – this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but a character who is anything but boring and corporate should not be wearing a tie that any office worker around would wear.
Overall: Classy, but just really dull.
6. Episode 4
While this one is certainly more colorful than the previous tie, it still isn’t nearly as interesting enough to truly encapsulate how camp this character is. It complements his suit well, but nothing about the tie is very appealing to me. Also, it should be noted that I have trypophobia and the circles on this tie make me uncomfortable, so I absolutely loathe it on a purely personal level.
Overall: It’s alright, but it’s nothing to write home about.
5. Episode 8
We’re finally approaching interesting tie territory, and this is a great tie to start off with. The baby blue looks great against a white shirt and adds some color to his otherwise monotone outfit. The little umbrellas on the tie themselves are also very cute and only serve to make the tie more pleasing to look at. This tie is a mile better than any of the ties that have come before it, and is the first tie that, in my head, F. Tony would pick out for himself, rather than something the costume department gave to Ben Schwartz as an afterthought.
Overall: Adorable tie! Still wished he wore funkier suits to fit the ties better.
4. Episode 4 pt. 2
Admittedly, this tie looks like it was made out of a grandmother’s curtains, but the colors and the textures complement his brown suit so well that they managed to make it look good. A trend you’ll find here is that most of the interesting ties are blue (this might not be a coincidence, as Schwartz is notorious for voicing blue animated characters), and this one is one of them without a doubt. It looks a little different from the rest of his ties in terms of its pattern and features a deep burgundy color that’s less commonly seen in the rest of his wardrobe, which begs the question: how did he get this tie?
Overall: A great odd one out from his wardrobe. I wish we saw more of it.
3. Episode 7
This may not be ranked first for the overall best tie, but it’s definitely the one I’d call the cutest of them all. The little specks of color do a great job of contrasting the navy and white ensemble, and some of them are even shaped like crescent moons (which fits the show, because, you know, Space Force). The tie toes the line between classy and quintessential to his character so well, and its presence honestly improved my enjoyment of an otherwise bleak episode.
Overall: The specks look like confetti and I love it very much.
2. Episode 4 pt. 3
What else is there to say except IT’S A GAY TIE. He has managed to come out through the one accessory that defines his character’s look and somehow it slipped most of our minds. It’s literally a bright rainbow running through his entire torso, and no one outside of a handful of overly online Twitter users has brought this up. This doesn’t have the couth or class that the previous tie had, but it makes up for it by BEING A RAINBOW and therefore truly defining his character.
Overall: Gay rights!
1. Episode 3
This deserves the top spot for a multitude of reasons, the main one being that it has the elements of what I loved about the previous two ties in it. It’s colorful, and it’s kind of a rainbow, but it doesn’t look too obnoxious or out of place in a work environment. This tie is the single defining item of clothing for F. Tony Scarapiducci. It is everything that he is, and since the ties are almost like an extension of his character, this one is perfect for him. It’s definitely the best tie on Space Force season one, and there is absolutely no doubt about it.
Overall: Best tie of season one – should have made him wear it more often.
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